Twenty Four Finds Me, At The End of The Day

“Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago”

I can still remember the first Switchfoot concert I ever got to attend. Even though it has been many years since that night I am still vividly reminded of the freedom of sixteen and the honor of finally being able to meet my idols. The concert that night was amazing and I enjoyed all the songs, but what I loved even more were the stories. One particular story from that night has always stuck with me and today thinking back on this particular story I start to believe that this song is what I was waiting for. In the middle of the set Jon Foreman told a story about the origin of the song Twenty Four. As the final closing of their most recent album “A Beautiful Letdown”(2003) the song had actually been written far before the CD was in production.

Jon wrote the song on the eve of his twenty-fourth birthday. As I began to listen to the song as a sixteen year old I foolishly believed that twenty-four was so far off. At sixteen you take youth for granted. At sixteen, you begin thinking of how you want your life to be at twenty four. I began wondering how I would feel when I reached that age. I could hear the melancholy confusion of how Jon felt. It isn't until now that I sit here on the eve of my twenty-fourth birthday that I finally understand the true meaning in that song.

“And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago.”

This is the song I need in the coming week because it is such an inspiration for me. It is hard to believe how quickly twenty-four years of my life has fluttered by, but I am lucky I know. So many things in my life are little different than how I imagined when I first heard the origin, but how many people honestly know exactly what their life if going to be like when they are sixteen? There are so many different variables.

I've been living my life and making mistakes that sixteen year old me never thought were possible. However these struggles have allowed me to grow and become a real person. The things I've had to deal with in the last five years were things that sixteen year old me never would have been able to handle, and to be honest shouldn't have never had to. This Switchfoot song is what growing up means. It is what Jon Foreman's message in the song was, letting go of all these preconceived notions of life and embracing the fact that God is the one that is in control. So tonight there are only minutes before my one and only twenty-fourth birthday is over. I will give you a quick recap and give you a list of things I want to remember to do this year because they make me happy and will allow me to feel better about turning twenty-five.

I really did have a blessed day. I woke up and got to spend the afternoon with my best friend. We made gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches and we watched Boy Meets World. I don't know if I could have asked for a better sunny day. I have less than three weeks left before she moves to Germany and starts her new life. This was one of those last moments before we start lives that might makes us drift. I don't want to drift away, but I know that the reality of High School Friends. We will never forget each other, we won't ever drift into nothingness, but as we start our own family units it will become harder to pick up the phone and spend hours just talking. Today it was about the simple joy of getting to pretend we were sixteen again and that nothing was going to change. We got to be just us again. Before moving to different states, before crappy boyfriends, and before anyone got married. Saying goodbye to Amanda is another topic for another blog so for the purpose of staying on task I will continue. After the wonderful afternoon I got to go with Sara to a Sushi Making Class. Although it was not what I was expecting, it was a fun way to spend an evening. It was a cross through an item of my bucket list and a skill I hope to get to use over and over again. Speaking of skills and goals these are five things I want to remember to do a lot of this year.

1)Eat Good Food: I want to enjoy meals. I want to make meals to enjoy. I want to randomly go out to places and have nights that are filled with memories and full tummys.
 

2) Read Lots of Books: I want to remember to slow down and read good books. I need to remember that while there is tons to do in this world I am at the perfect age where I don't have those distractions that others find keep them from reading. (college and motherhood)

3) Enjoy the World: I want to do living social, groupon, etc events. I want to go out to places, but I also want to be smart about it. I want to do my research and find free events. I want snuggly movie nights and crisp fall bonfires. I want to remember to enjoy the little things the world has to offer and I want to protect the world as well.
 

4) Save Money: This is a big one for me, in fact if I was a little braver I'd say this should be #1. However I am not as brazen. If I ever want to get out of my parents house, get another car, or get married someday I really need to start saving cash. I won't go into details, but it is a huge work in progress for me. I want to budget and I need to remember the more I suffer now, the more I will be able to appreciate later.
 

5) Let People In: Last year I remember writing about wanting things you could never have. Yet here I am only a year later and I believe I've found someone that understands me as best as he can. I know that I am damaged goods, that I tend to be a mixed bag at times. However I also need to remember that this young man is trying to fix another person's damage not make it worse. I want to be able to have the fearlessness I had and the one Taylor Swift talks about.

I think every year I try to live my life for something and this year I'm living it for faith. That people can surprise me and that maybe this year I can put my faith in someone and I can finally trust again.  I can hear the rain outside my window. A sign from God I know.  It is a reminder that God does have my best interest. When I needed today to be sunny it was and he knows how much I love sleeping to the rain and here it is raining. I'm kind of exhausted, so I will leave you with my life verse for the year. 



"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart." - Proverbs 3:3



Good night and Thank You for Another Wonderful Birthday

“I want to see miracles, see the world change

Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.”