The Missing Game

Dear Blog Friends I cannot believe it is already October. I can hardly fathom how fast this year is going, but I'm really excited about this part of it. I apologize for lack of updates, but I was a busy bee these past few weeks. Between working 40 hour weeks, a new boyfriend, and trying to squeeze in as much time as I could with my best friend it didn't leave much free time to blog. Maybe this is how twenty-four will be? Tonight as I listen to some soft mellow piano I feel as if I finally have the peace of mind and the time to explain what has been on my mind.

Anyone who has read my blog before understands my love of Fall. It is the one time of year I feel is the most freeing. The leaves change and fall to the earth. They are a reminder that each year like a tree we get to shed any unwanted things and start again. I am pretty sure I explain my love for this time of year almost every year so I promise this entry is not another ode to Fall. I am looking forward to all the spiced lattes and apple pies. All the warm bowls of soup and falling leaves, but that is not what this entry is for. Maybe the lack of updates are because I feel as if I write it, then it means that it is true. That this year I am without my partner in crime. I'm not a clingy best friend or an obsessive person. In fact I have actually been too busy to really feel the weight of Amanda being gone yet. I guess I just feel as if I am facing a really critical time in my life. This is the time that makes or breaks people. My very best friend left for Germany with her awesome husband a week ago. While I am going to miss her these next three years I am well aware that while she might be miles away, it is not so far that a phone call or skype message can't connect us again.

I am in a new relationship and it isn't as easy this time around to pick up the phone to get advice. I'm going to miss silly snow days and crazy Black Friday shopping. I am going to miss being hit on by Sherlock Holmes on Halloween, and I'm going to miss birthdays, Thanksgivings, and Christmas days. I am going to miss ringing in the New Year and sweet Love Punchy Valentine's. Yet those things are nothing compared to other moments. You see those things come every year, but the moments I am going to be sad to miss out on are things like births and baptisms. Maybe it is tonight's Glee episode that was a huge reminder of long distance relationships and the struggles that we go through to keep them going. I know this time is the time I'm going to look at and remember as the days, weeks and months when our lives changed.

We are all starting to get married, have kids, and grow up getting big girl jobs. We will become distracted by the day to day and forget about the people that were around before the chaos of life came around. I look at all these people who move away and lose touch. I'd like to have faith that we have a strong enough friendship, but I'm afraid that will happen to Amanda, Sara, and I. I'm not a selfish person and am undoubtedly happy for Amanda. She gets to experience so many wonderful new things. She gets to actually spend time with the man she married; they get to start there lives together. That is the way it should be. I just hope that life won't change all of us too much and to be completely honest I am going to miss her.

I've been busy with the boy in my life as well. I'm struggling to let go of the past and just let him appreciate me. I'm struggling to find patience, because after all he isn't the one that broke my heart and my trust. Taylor Swift has a new album out and it is about time. I think I need some more wisdom from Miss Swift. I think that is blog topic for another night.

For right now I will just share a sneak peek of this song on my mind called: Begin Again 



 “And you throw your head back laughing
Like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause
He never did
I've been spending the last 8 months
Thinking all love ever does
Is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe
I watched it begin again.”

So that is the first of hopefully many more blog entries. Good Night Bloggers and Friends.
I hope the world finds you happy and well.  If you are a kid being bullied, if you are a girl with a broken heart, or if you are just having a rough day. Remember it does get better.

TWLOHA