"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing With a broken heart that's still beating. In the pain, there is healing. In your name I find meaning. So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on. I'm barely holdin' on to you." - Broken by LifehouseI miss being in love. I miss the carefree moments where nothing could touch me when I was in love. When discovering what I loved and who I loved were things that were fun and exciting. When I didn't have to be afraid of getting my heart broken over and over again. I thought as soon as I fell in love all my fears would cease. That I had finally found the person that would never hurt me. The sad thing is that I'm still in love, but I'm not carefree and all I seem to discover now are painful things. This might just be a sickened blog, one that comes from the haze of cold medication and fear. Fear that ever boy is the same. That all they want is that one thing and they are never fully 'satisfied' in a relationship unless they get it. That they have to suffer through a relationship because they are not getting any 'action'. I don't feel loved anymore. With a few sharp comments I feel so worthless. That I'm not good enough unless I cave like every other slut, skank and whore. I thought I was loved for my differences, for my free thinking, non conformist attitude. Now I find that the things that were once loved about me are now annoying. I'm tired and I'm broken. I need a nice bubble bath and warm cup of tea. Talk later maybe?
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