Safe and Sound

“Don't you dare look out your window darling everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on. Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone. Just close your eyes; the sun is going down. You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. Come morning light you and I'll be safe and sound.”

It is amazing how often we find ourselves afraid of the most beautiful of basic feelings. Ever since I read it I have been in love with the magical story of a boy and girl from District 12. For quite a while now it has made me understand the war zone feelings can be sometimes. This is where the song comes from. Safe and Sound is such a beautiful song to capture the true essence of The Hunger Games. As I find myself falling inside of this wonderfully interesting February I also feel a little like Katniss Everdeen myself.

The weather today is beautiful and highly uncommon for February. It is sunny and 28 degrees, maybe it is to companion my sunny disposition? All I know is that I find myself wanting to spend more time with a wonderful boy. Like another blonde boy this one has probably saved me more than I will ever truly understand at this point. I am sure you can understand that I've had a tragic few years recently. I lost myself, lost the path in which God wanted for me, and was broken in so many ways. However what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, what makes you stronger turns you into a fighter. A large part of me feels like a fighter. I fight against the fear I feel in liking someone. I feel like Katniss in this sense. I'm afraid to have feelings if they will only lead to heartbreak.

They say the greatest risk in life is to follow your heart towards the romantic parts of life. I only hope that along with this leap I might be able to have God's guidance. I hope that God can help this be a good thing. I already feel an immense safety, but I know that I must trust in God's wisdom against my own. So I have to differentiate between the two messages in my brain.

I spent Saturday night with this boy. A kindhearted boy that I've known for such a long time and someone that helped me through one of the hardest times of my life, without even knowing it. Throughout my life I've tried to deny my feelings, pretend they didn't exist for so many reasons, but I can't help it. I like him. I guess I never thought he'd go for me. I know there were so many complicated things that kept us apart. I will keep his identity a secret for his own sake, but I will tell you about what made Saturday so sweet. He came over to my house to watch a movie and we ended up watching Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. We talked and at the end of the night I got the most wonderful hug. I enjoy this slow ease back and it allows me to trust myself more. This boy makes me smile, he makes me giggly, he gives me this warm feeling that I'm protected. I'm not sure what will happen, but right now I feel like with him my heart might be safe and sound.