Hello Dear Valentine's and welcome to the day of pink. It is the day of Red Velvet cupcakes and chalky candy hearts. It is also the day to look forward towards the future. I'm sure any woman on this day has dreams going through her head. If she is single she dreams of the Valentine's when she has a boyfriend. A girl in a relationship might dream of the February days when she is married. The married girl might look longingly at the days when little Valentines might grace her life. Any way you look at it this day hold a lot of dreamy looks and wishes for girls.
When
I was younger as I am sure I have described how I looked at
Valentine's Day as a curse. I was clumsy and lonely; finding this day
to be when all the worst kind of crap would happen. At 15 it was the
day when someone told me that I was a freak. At 16 I was grounded. It
wasn't until the Valentine's Day I turned 18 that I really started to
see the wisdom I could find in this day. I began to realize that
while unlucky, it wasn't the day itself that made it happen, but just
life lessons happening. That it was just a day when people said “I
love you.” Not a forever sentence to the life you are leading.
When
I was eighteen I began to see the brighter picture and saw that all
the wishes I had for future Valentine's Days needed to be collected
and one rainy day they would rained down upon me. That with a
positive outlook those blustery cold candy days would find me soon
enough. The next year that day came. For three years I got to have
those days. The last being the most crucial. Until no longer was I
someone's Valentine.
In
the wake of the destruction I wasn't sure how to feel last year.
However last Valentine's Day I made a promise to myself to be purely
me. That I would never let others decide how I am suppose to love
people. That I would never let someone treat me as poorly as I had
been. I made promises that I would choose how far and how much a
person received of my love. That just because someone doesn't sleep
with you, doesn't mean they don't love you. If they don't sleep with
you; it means they love you more than you will ever know. I told
myself to never let the fear of falling and breaking keep me from
going out there and letting cupid hit me with arrows. I made
important decisions and remembered that it is perfectly acceptable to
be my own Valentine.
This
year at 23 I see the beauty in Valentine's Day as a day of seeing
potential. Last year Amanda and Mitch weren't together and now they
are husband and wife. Last year I didn't have a steady job; now I
thankfully do. This year I didn't over-think or over-analyze. I just
lived in the immense pink that is the 14th of February.
This
Valentine's Day gives me determination. It gives me the budding of a
possible new boy in my life. It gives me hope and fearlessness. Today
I worked a five hour shift that felt a little long, but gave me a
wonderful surprise. I came home from work and ate a delicious pizza
dinner, ate a slice of my mom's birthday cake, and watched Glee. That
show is so much fun to watch. The love songs they sang reminded me
that being in love is musical and fun. That one day I hope I might
fall in love again. Love is about the little things you fall in love
with. Those things you have in common with someone and the way those
things you love bring people together. Those people that are brought
together might fall in love. It has to start somewhere right? Maybe
next year I'll be someone's Valentine? However if life has taught me
anything it is about patience and hopeless romantics. It is about not
getting too ahead of yourself (when we all know secretly you can't
help it.)
Good
Night and Happy Valentine's Day
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