The Summer Sends Its Love

“The summer sends its love to you, the same as every year. But this year I will send mine too.”

I know it has been a little while blog followers, but I promise this will be worth the wait. There is something so precious and magical about youth. It is about starry summer nights screaming out as loud as you can. It is about those sunny days when you dance with the rushing wind and run as fast as your legs can take you. It is such a sweet time. Tonight is an interesting night for me. For so long it was an importance of summer love. As the years went by it became a three year marker. I wasn't sure how today was going to be so many months ago, but I feel so blessed.

Tonight is not a four year marker and it isn't a sad memory of failure, but more of an opportunity to share the most amazing news. Today I've seen the trueness of God's awe-inspiring grace. Tonight is not a bitter reminder of an unfaithful boyfriend, but of a new chapter of life. Tonight has the freshness and healing that only comes from a dear friends engagement.

This past year was more difficult than anyone could ever understand, but yet by the grace of God it was one of the most significant years of my life. It is amazing how good I feel. My summer has taken the broken girl and turned me into such a strong woman. Yesterday I finished another journal; my third since I started writing in one at the age of ten. It doesn't seem like a huge event, but I went through this particular journal in only one year. It chronicles the year I turned twenty-two. The year that my life and I changed. It was such an important year. When you are really young you don't realize how much one year; one age can teach you. When you are younger you have expectations and dreams for your twenties, but when they became different and the reality comes to find you. Well this year I was brought back to God's plans for me.

Twenty-two started as such a stressful and uncertain age. Even on my birthday I felt like I was losing more than I could sacrifice. On my birthday I made a promise that I would live this year of my life in the name of love. I wasn't sure what that meant at the time and how to get there back in September because of how my twenty-second year began. However as I move closer towards twenty-three I cherish everything twenty-two had to teach me. I am grateful to everything it made and created in me. I am a better person after this year. I have God to thank for that.

This was the age when my heart shattered and I had to pick up the jagged pieces amongst new feelings of bitterness and betrayal. Not only did I have to pick up broken pieces of me, but of what was left behind from a three year realtionship that crumbled because of an unfaithful boy. So many times I'd imagined spending intimate moments with him and he went off giving them to someone he barely knew. Twenty-two was the year where I fell out of love with him and fell back in love with me. It had been such a long time since I did things for myself and treated myself with respect. I started doing things that I wanted finally. As this age continued I needed to cross off goals on a bucket list. I realized how many thing I wanted to do and put off because of my ex-boyfriend. I gave you the list in January and let us see how I've progressed after summer.

I am currently reading Anna Karenina

I've danced in the rain

I spent a whole summer studying the bible with kids

I took many small trips, including to River Falls, Spicer, and Poplar

I was a camp counselor

I met so many great people

Ate at a diner twice so far and hope to go to more

I spent my whole summer writing letters, I realize how much I miss it

I've started quilting (sewing)

I will explain more when the actual year comes to a close, but that is the brief of my progress.

As I was saying the summer has some of the sweetest memories and life lessons. It is not my favorite time of the year, but I love what the summer does to my spirit. This year I had an amazing summer at camp. It taught me about strength and the need for God in one's life. It was like getting to spend my whole summer at Sonshine and I was brought back to the spiritual mindset I had as a teenager. This summer taught me how to be more selfless and about being exhausted, but still giving it everything you've got for the kids. It is about teaching and telling those kids about God in anyway possible. It was about changing the lives of these young people and allowing those expierences change your life forever. Other than the kids another part of camp changed my life. This summer I met someone and I fell in love. I'm not sure exactly what kind of love at this point. Anyhow this person gave me a reason to get up in the early in the morning, he gave me back my strength in myself that I had lost from my previous relationship. It isn't a dating thing and there is a strong chance that he will not feel the same way for me. Despite this I am forever thankful to God for giving me these feelings for him because they told me that it is possible for a heart that had been broken as badly as mine to fall in love again. James is such a complicated situation. I did not ask to fall for him, but somehow God led me to have these feelings. My summer was caught up in delightfully sweet syrupy feelings and so many nights of confusions. This part of my summer allowed me to pray and question God about his plans for me. It strengthened my faith in this greater purpose. It seems like every time I try and pretend that these feelings are not real God sends me messages that tell me there are. That the feelings I have for James have a purpose. I don't really know what will happen between James and I, but I am excited to let God decide. So instead of worrying and having this consume me like it normally would I am going to continue to be friends with him. I am going to continue to live my life and listen to those love songs I haven't wanted to in such a long time. I am going to let God lead my heart where it needs to go. This was a defining year in my life because of how I've been able to grow. One of the most amazing parts in these dog days of summer is because off my best friend.

Amanda and I have been through the highs and lows of love. We have grown into amazing young women out of the ashes of two teenage girls. So many nights we whispered, giggled and told fairy tales. So many nights we imagined and dreamed of these days. We talked about the futures we would have and finally one of those days came. My best friend in the entire world is engaged! It makes me tear up and my heart fill with pride. I will keep this short so as to not exhaust out possible material for my maid of honor speech, but I will say that I'm excited for her. I can't wait to watch her fairy tale and play out. It seems rather whirlwind, however I have strong faith that he is her Prince Charming.

“Oh I miss those days as the years go by, but nothing is sweeter than summertime.”