Spirituality, Reading and Rehab

As the weather is changing I feel large pieces of my whole being changing as well. It has been a journey to get towards here, but I believe I'm getting onto the path I need to be now. The sun and the moon are lighting way and giving me the motivation I must have inside of myself. It has not been an easy journey. I face many obstacles in my path. These are simple little things like bitterness and resentment that keep me from my true purpose.

It is funny to think of addictions and sobriety when speaking about myself, however I am admitting that I am an addict. Before we start getting worried I must explain that I am just an addict of a different sort. Like any horrible drug small parts of me will be addicted to getting answers to how and why my last relationship ended the way it did. The sad thing about first love is that you feel a little addicted to that pure feeling it gives you. My ex-boyfriend I realize didn't start out as a drug, but only when he started doing them. He became my meth like addiction. Almost impossible to quit and you'd do anything for the high. I am six months sober today. Like alcoholics or others clean individuals I have learned to take it one day at a time and I reward myself when I reach those crucial moments of sobriety.

Yesterday was one of those rewarding days. It was probably one of the most rewarding days I've had in a while. I woke up and met Kenan at church. The service was amazing and talked about the struggles we face and how Satan can prevent us from traveling down the paths we want to be on.

2 Corinthians 4:4

“The 'god' of this age has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, so that they can't see the light of the gospel and the glory of Christ.”

This verse explains that many people follow false gods and false teachings. We tend to fall into listening these falsehoods because we become impatient when we pray and our prayers are not answered as promptly as we would like them. We believe that our father in heaven doesn't care about us. In reality he cares greatly for us.

Daniel 12-14

“Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you prayed, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me 21 days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the King of Persia/ Now I have to come explain to you what will happen to your people in the future.”

Sometimes the messengers of prayers get caught up by the devil's advocates. It isn't the god doesn't love us, but that Satan tries to detain that love and prevent it from getting through. Making us doubt our father above. Church was amazingly insightful. It was just what I needed to remind myself of my journey and my purpose. After church Kenan and I went to a delicious breakfast at a diner. Then we went to see a movie.

Another of our stops was half-priced books. I love that place, but it is slightly dangerous because I tend to get lost in book land forgetting that there are prices and limits. Reading is an amazing outlet for me. Whenever I am stressed or lost in the world I get a chance to travel in a different one. Listening to music and letting go. It is the most magical feeling. Something I think everyone should experience.

Well I am starting to get hungry, so I will leave with one last hopeful verse.

1John 4:4

“ But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.”