Toxic

It has been a pretty fascinating summer and I am glad for every sunny morning and every last rainy night. I have learned so many life lessons in my life this past year and I feel this summer was god’s way of leading me on a path towards him again. This summer I believe I have learned the most important lessons. God has taught me about people and what you can accomplish with them around you. The good ones build you up and make you feel like your goals are attainable.
The bad ones are toxic and need to be detoxified from your living space.

There has been one little nuisance that has followed me this summer. Let us be honest because we blogger friends know it by the name of Cole Jellings.


I don’t really know what is up with Cole these days nor do I wish to waste anymore of my valuable time trying to figure it out. This blog I promise young bloggers is not about whining or self discovery about why some scared moron doesn’t like me because believe me I’ve SO moved past that. Now I know blog friends you might be saying to yourselves “Well then why are you writing about it Brianna?”

The simple reason is because I owe it to myself. After all the shit he has said about me behind my back. All the lies he has told about me and my character.
One last written statement; for it is this moment that I’ve realized that I have lost even the slightest friendly feeling towards Cole mama’s boy Jellings. I don’t particularly care for him that much or even respect him anymore. I don’t care about what he said, no, not anymore. I kind of believe he is a naïve little teenager. Studies have shown that excessive pot use keeps you in the mindset of the age you start doing it. I don’t blame him for being confused. I don’t hate him at all despite what he did to my best friend Amanda. I have already seen how much healthier she is without his toxicity in her life and I know she is much better without him (or his mother). However what I do blame him is for the way he handles his problems. Cole has become one of the most catty and judgmental people I have met. He is fake to the core and you can tell by the lies he spouts off to you daily. He could of handled the situations a lot better and honestly I believe everyone that interacts with him deserves a lot better. He is lost in a world where he cannot coup and so he handles his obstacles with immaturity and outright stupidity. If it isn’t with drugs, it is with alcohol (yes I know this is also I highly addictive drug) and if not that he resorts to childish games in which he only knows the rules. People like these bother me greatly. This is the big league Cole and you don’t even know how to play in this world of adulthood.

In his only defense he wasn’t always the blockhead he is now. It is sad to see what a decent guy he used to be and to watch him spiraling into this shell of self-importance. He used to have integrity and I really wish I could trust his friendship again, if ever he actually was a real friend to me. Which I’m starting to see he wasn’t. I don’t pity him nor do I sympathize with him because he has made a messy bed and he must now learn to lie in it. He had a good chance to turn his life away from the horrible pit it will eventually go into. He is in denial if he thinks smoking pot is a going to make him happy. News-flash dimwit: It won’t! It will only lead to harder drugs and a long list of failed relationships and regrets. The pot has already started killing the best parts of who he was what makes him think it won’t kill the rest of him?

I will be damned if I let his toxins take away anything that is important to me. He won’t take away my self-respect, he can’t take away my love of a real life, he will never take the pure honesty in my heart. He can’t break my spirit or even my relationship with god. Eventually he will learn that love trumps all other evil things. Like my love for Jordan.

I would do anything for that boy and that is what true love is. It isn’t a possessive thing, but a protective thing. So here we are blog friends. I have been in love with Jordan since I was nineteen years old and I’m not going to let some foolish mama’s boy with erectile dysfunction ruffle my radiant feathers. You see this little swan fights rough. AND SHE WINS!

Silent, yet deathly serious. She is like word ninja destroying every toxic person in her path. She does it with beauty and grace. Still keeping her dignity intact. Beware if you cross paths with her, because you will not come out alive.