Do Only Fools Fall In Love?

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu

On Wednesday I celebrated being in a relationship with someone for three years. The last three years have not always been wonderful, yet they have taught me so much about myself and love. At sixteen years old I thought I knew what it would take to love someone and wishing on stars to find it. I had wanted this for so long and now that I’m much older, much wiser I’ve noticed how much hard work really goes into a relationship.

Relationships I’ve come to learn are not always kisses and hugs. Being in a three year relationship has taught me about tough life lessons you eventually need to learn and the only person that can teach them to you. I’ve learned that trust is highly needed, but not always easily found. I’ve learned lately about forgiveness in the face of selfish behavior and bad influences. I’ve learned to how fight hatred with purity and love because isn’t that what god hoped for when he created love:

1 Corinthians: 4 - 8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

True love never fails. I don’t know what it is, but I’m head over heels. I’ve been in love with the same guy since I was nineteen and there is something so beautifully innocent about that. I’m so glad that I’ve grown up in a relationship with Jordan because he has taught me numerous times through disappointment and a few break ups that is important to work through things. I’m stronger than people give me credit and I’m so much smarter too. I know that maybe only fools really fall in love, but I can’t help it. If god can have an undying love for me throughout my darkest moments then surely I can work through Jordan’s.

I’m not a psychic and I want to believe that this will last, but I don’t know. I can always have my hope. I can always persevere through distance and negative influences that may burden our love and strain our bond. I want to make goals for myself, be more understanding this year. These are things I need to do to keep my relationship healthy and survive the evil world.

I love Jordan very much. He is the most frustrating person at times and something he makes the dumbest decisions. However I can’t help myself around him. God is an amazing god. He has brought me a guy that has awakened every emotion I’ve ever had and even more I didn’t know I had. I want every one of my moments to count with Jordan. I’m tired of wasting them on petty arguments and stupid people that are not worth our time. I’m going to miss him greatly when he leaves tomorrow. It will be a challenge with odd stacked against us, but I’m in it to win. People giggle and some roll their eyes thinking it is more of a comfort thing. Honestly it is because I feel safe around him. He takes care of me when I’m sick and makes sure nobody messes with me. He is a good boyfriend and I feel bad for forgetting that at times. Maybe only fools fall in love? Maybe a year from now I will curse and call myself a “stupid bitch” I’m just willing to fight ‘til the end. I’m not going to change myself and I’m not going to let his asshat of a friend change MY boyfriend. Jordan is much too good for him.