It seems so astonishing to me that I have been keeping a blog since I was about fifteen. It started off as this silly little thing and yet it has saved me more than I could have ever imagined. When I have feelings to sort out it has been my online outlet for so many things. From beautiful fleeting memories of youth to frustrating moments of broken hearts and stupid boys. I have thought a lot about what I wanted to say in this monumental entry. I guess I want to share what two-hundred entries have done for my life. I've learned so much about so many things and I want to share those lessons with the blog world.
I am a Survivor: Throughout these years and the past two-hundred blog entries I've learned that broken hearts are just a part of growing up. My first one was at seventeen, my second two within a year at the ripe age of twenty-two. I've learned that it is hard to pick up pieces and put them back together all by yourself. However I know that I'm not alone and that God is the glue that mends all of my heartaches.
Life is NOT Fair: It isn't fair that things happen. People hurt you, betray your trust and leave you with scars while they flee without so much as a scratch. People lie, cheat, steal everyday. People say mean things and sometimes we have to say good bye to things we love in order to grow to love bigger and better things. Sometimes we believe we need so many worthless things, when all we need is to just take a deep breath and think clearly. Life is what you make it. There are times in our lives where we want something so badly and are disappointed when it doesn't happen. Later we realize what small blessings those 'unanswered prayers' really are for us.
I am beautiful and couregous: I'm a different kind of girl and sometimes I've allowed myself to forget that the parts of myself that make me different are the ones that also make me truly beautiful. It is because the nerdy parts of myself make me unique and special. The ones that can embrace it deserve to be a part of my life and the ones that take for these traits for granted just simply don't.
The Best Heart Cure is a Hot Cup of Tea: It doesn't matter what has happened, some days I find myself lost, hurt, alone, and just kind of sad. In these moments I love to sit down and have a nice hot cup of tea. Whether it is because of sickness or heartache a nice hot beverage makes me feel like I'm close and warm in the world. It is kind getting a hug when the world is cold. Tea is one of those things that also makes you feel fancy and European. With a tray a cookies or those cute little cucumber sandwiches you feel like you are in another place; almost like a fairy tale. I high recommend the purity of tea. It does really cleanse the spirit.
A Year is Only One Year: I've had some pretty interesting years since I started my blog. In 2006 I had a year where I was bombarded with the stress of a broken heart. 2007 gave me back in hope and a new boyfriend. 2008 – 2009 where years of confusion and feelings of being lost. 2010 a year of so much pain and betrayal. 2011 although not how I imagined it was going to be was fairly good as I see it come to a close. I have great memories of learning who I was as a young women. What I've realized is that you can make promises to yourself, wish on the days of a calendar, but you can never plan how a year is going to go. Some may leave you broken and others may lift you up. However I've learn it is only a year and after 12 months, 52 weeks, and 365 days you get a new one. You get a clean slate and a chance to either sit around moping about the end of the previous year (whether for good or bad reasons) or you get to embrace what the New Years has in store for you. A year is only a year. It might seem like forever, but it really isn't and you should embrace each year as much as you can. Even in the hardest lessons we learn so much and we don't have that many years. So we should enjoy them while they are here.
Music is a Saving Grace: I've written music blogs, I continue to add to a high music collection, and I make playlists for every mood or moment of my life. Music is something I have a deep passionate love for. It is how I worship my Savior and I believe it is his gift. It is his way of getting his messages across to me. I have always been one of those moody people ever since I was a teenager. Whenever I was upset I'd listen to a CD or specifically collection of songs and I'd be able to feel better. I'm the girl that can't help but dance around her living room. I listen to music while I cook. Music is just a presence that I need to have around me. I think I'd cry if I lost my sense of hearing and am blessed every single day that I have it.
I don't want this to be too long, but those are the six things I've found throughout reading past blogs. Those are the lessons I've learned from being a blogger. These are the things that have always been constant no matter how many blogs I write.
This is my 200th Blog. Now I'm going to go enjoy a nice hot chai latte. Remember life is about all the little things that will eventually end to be those big moments. Have faith and things will be the way you need them. Just pray and believe in yourself.
Good Night: The Girl With The Chocolate Dreams
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