There have been numerous times during my life in the recent few years that I have been stressed beyond breaking. For a young woman in my twenties I’m feeling rather old which is not fair. However tonight I got an amazing treat; another amazing Friday night at Perkins with Brian and my love, Jordan. I can’t believe how many moments like this I have gotten to share with him. It makes me smile. From the first moments in a movie theater to the newest ones tonight I don’t think I can ever take for granted. I feel truly blessed about every last one of those moments and for everything Jordan is to me. When I look at him I see so much. I see the new friends I’ve made. I see Amanda’s new boyfriend. I see the future as well as the past in a blink of my eyes. I feel extremely happy with him and have learned so many important life lessons with him. I have learned to be more patient and kind.
God has became a more important part of my life lately then he has been the last year. I feel so much closer to him, his plan for me and with him everything will be ok. That I can make all my dreams come true. One day I want to live in Toledo, Ohio (or somewhere in Ohio). One day I want to break out in a place that is far away enough to have blank slate, but close enough to crawl back if things don’t work out so well. I want Jordan to be able to join me on this crazy adventure.
I was talking to a really good friend today and realized how lucky I am. I am lucky to have great friends, to have an amazing boyfriend who tries very much to be patient with me as he waits. I want the great American life, one that I can look back on and be satisfied with. I was talking about the whole idea of one thing and began to realize how much life is an adventure. How each person has their own journey?
You start off as a young person, thrown into a world full of fear and frustration. When you are about 5 or 6 you are given tools and begin training for the rest of life. When you reach 13 you realize that the world is a much different place than you thought it was going to be and you take the first steps on your chosen path. Each path is different and there are hundreds of possibilities. One looks different than the others and so you try so hard to choose. Some paths look scary, but you are thrill seeker and you may want to take it. Others look safe and you might take that one. It is your choice. You meet many good and bad people down your chosen path and try to use your life tools to survive. Sometimes you meet people that start off as good and end up weighing you down towards your eventual goal. You must say goodbye to them as other side paths distract them. Finally at 18 they give you your whole package of tools and make you choose another path. This one you must pay for. Whether it is a collegiate path or a stronger willed independent path. Throughout your path of discovery you may meet someone that makes your weight lighter, a partner to help you guide your journey on this life path. Some you may goodbye to and others might stick with you forever on the rest of your path.
I am going to embrace my journey and try not to get overwhelmed by the scary and unfamiliar. I want to jump into this crazy, chaotic, fun, full, thrilling, scary, and hopeful life that I was given. I want to walk, run, skip, swim and ride down my path. Knowing that god will never let me walk somewhere that is too dangerous for me.
With God and Jordan when I look at them I see a sunny path.
(The song inspired this blog is “When I Look at You” by Miley Cyrus. Good song you should totally look up.)
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