Boy Meets World, Pop Music and Me

I can remember lovingly the beginning years of my discovery of teenage life. At eleven years old back in the first days of the millennium and the start of this decade I lived in a world of Boy Meets World and pop music. The year was 2000 and I loved every crazy chaotic filled moment that reminds me now of a simpler time. It was a time where every dream was ahead of me; my heart was still pure an unbroken. Nobody had let me down yet and I had the naivete to hope nobody would. I loved watching episodes and listening to these type of things that allowed me to dream. Who knew that at twenty-one and ten years later I would be able to relate more to those songs and episodes than I had in those days. The world is a rough and sorrowful place at times, but like I’ve said before God is till present in my life and I can see this.

My journey of nostalgia starts with the silly dream of a young girl wishing to have a relationship like her television idols Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence. I remember thinking that they had the best relationship full of love and greatness of epic proportion. I have watched the Boy Meets World Series many times in the past ten years and discovered something more. Cory and Topanga had the typical troublesome relationship; they broke up and got back together many times. I guess I got my wish? The television relationship had many flaws, but eventually worked out in the end. They grew up and figured out that they loved each other enough to put away their own selfishness in order to become what was best for one another. As I look at my own recent (and also flawed) relationship I realize I have a lot of the same problems they did, but I also have started trying to put away my selfishness on a shelf. However I have yet to figure if the other side of this potential wants to?

I love Pop music! Like Nsync said
“Do you ever wonder why? This music gets you high. It takes you on a ride. “

From the boy bands to the teen queens I grew up with a whole buffet of pop songs to get me through the most difficult times in my life. However with the worst of broken hearts before me now I can listen to them and really hear what the artists are saying. Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely, Quit Playing Games With My Heart and Crazy. These are feelings I know all too well. I don’t want to feel this way, but I guess listening to the fact I’m not the only one kind of helps.

Anyway this is just a short blog with a confession:
I’m exhausted. Plain and simple I’m tired.
Tired of bullshit, tired of being strung along and made to feel like a villain.
I miss having someone CARE!
I miss having someone think about me before himself.
I miss having someone to hug me, to kiss me, to hold me.
I just miss having someone love me.
Really and truly miss feeling like someone loves me.

I don’t know what I should do anymore? I have loved someone with the deepest parts of my heart. I have had someone use me and treat me as if it were better if I wasn’t in his life. Even though they were the one that made the mistakes I am the one that gets to suffer. I forgave someone for lying to me, for breaking a huge promise and doing something they knew would break my heart. Yet they are the one that is unsure about whether they want to further things. Hmm maybe they really didn’t love me as much as they said? You don’t really know what you have until you loose it. Right now I feel rather lost.

I don’t have much more to say so I will leave you with one of the best pop songs ever:

HEY JUDE:
Hey Jude don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And any time you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na na na na na
na na na na

Hey Jude don't let me down
You have found her now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in
Hey Jude begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you
Hey Jude you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder

Na na na na na
na na na na Yeah

Hey Jude don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you'll begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, Yeah,Yeah,Yeah

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na
Na Na Na Na, Hey Jude!