A Letter To A Forgotten Friend

To Nathaniel Turner:

It is really unfortunate that you have become the person you are now. I will forever miss the Nate Turner you were. He had so much grace and potential. I watched all the light shining from you fade away. I hope though that god treats you well. I hope he blesses you with everything you've blessed me with throughout the six years we knew each other. I hope one day you realize all the mistakes you've made and it won't be too late. However if that day comes I will pity you.; for you had such a great life that you burned to ashes.

Gosh do I miss the Nate Turner I met so many years ago. The tall lanky kid that inspired me so much. You are not the same person anymore. You have always treated me like a sore on your foot and expected so many things that you never deserved from me. Things I was happy to give because god is in my heart and knows that you needed them. I respected your Christianity and your astounding wisdom back in those days. I know throughout the years we had our differences, but I never thought it would come down to this. I’m not going to lie even throughout my slight anger I am saddened when I look at you. When I told you nicely you ignored me and when I got more serious you totally blew up. Lately you have been nothing but a horrible person to me. I was not always innocent and I admit my faults in the presence of god this morning at 1:30am. However years from now I don’t know if you will ever be able to forgive yourself for what you did to me on Wednesday night. You knew all the pain I was going through and you chose to turn your back on me. I have been extremely patient with you throughout your emotions and life struggles. I am done because I don’t need you. God knows you are so bad for me at this time in my life.

When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
That isn’t you Nate so quit throwing stones at people. People like Amanda, Lauren, and I.
."And Jesus said love one another as I have loved you."
"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
You never loved anyone but yourself. You never shared that godly love for me. I think that is ok though, it was god’s way of showing me that you didn’t bare fruit in my life. I still love you though like Jesus loved the Pharisees and Judas. Because even while they were betraying him; even when they treated him so badly god still gave him the power to love them. The same love god is giving me for you.

I kind of wish we could be friends again. The innocent teenagers that would laugh and joke; instead we have turned into adults that treat each other like animals. Savage and hurtful no where near what god wanted us to be. You will always be you and I will always be me. There is no changing that, however I am still a god-loving individual. I still believe in god’s will for me and that he will save my bruised and broken heart. I hope he heals your wounds too, because you sound like you need more healing than me. Maybe one day this will change and will can be friends again. Today however will not be that day. In my heart I am friends with Nate Turner. Not whoever you think you are?