Forever Young

"Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?
Forever young, I want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever, forever?"

Hello World and Welcome to the New Year!

I hope this moment finds you as happy and healthy as me. I hope you can look toward the sunset of 2010 with life lessons and towards the rise of 2011 with the freshness of the possibilities ahead of you.

My past year was chaotic even from the first moments. I've learned that one year can change so much and that sometimes people change. At times years don't go the way you originally hoped. However it is about what one does with it that is the key. I had a good 2010. Seems confusing with all the crappy things that happened to me, but I don't have any regrets anymore. I still have a few issues, but how can I have regret these things that lead me to find this kind of strength. Late nights still make the little monsters come out, but I'm slowly learning how to banish them and let them go. I never imagined all the pain, the hopes that would be shattered, and how badly I would lose myself so deeply. Maybe though I was suppose to lose myself in order to find the person I used to be mixed with the wisdom of age?

* I was cheated on: not because I was not good enough, but because of someone elses weakness.

* I was lied to: not because I don't deserve to be told the truth, but because some else forgot how or didn't care enough to anymore.

* I was betrayed: not because anything Cole said was true, but because he is afraid and doesn't know how to be selfless.

Those are the facts. I can't change them and I know that I am responsible for how they effect me.

This blog is title is about me being forever young. Not the selfish need to be youthful and never grow up, but about never losing the strong girl I was before I even had a boyfriend. She was such an intelligent person with so much wisdom and hope. I used to be fearless and independent. I know that girl's wisdom has gotten this young women though one of the most disappointing years I've had in awhile. How naive was I to think 2008 and 2009 were bad years when 2010 was such a disaster. However maybe the past years weren't good because I was with destructive people? I'm not blaming, just observing.

I have a warm feeling that radiates inside of me for 2011. I have a wish that it will be a lucky year for me. Even in the first few days I feel like a new person. I have so much to look forward to and I need to remember that I'm only 22. So this year I'm not making resolutions for this year, but just starting a bucket list. The world is so unexpected we never remember to do the things we want to do and get lost in the things we need to do. I'm going to make this list to start putting the happiness in my life again.

MY BUCKET LIST

1) READ THE CLASSICS

2) DANCE/KISS IN THE RAIN

3) START A BIBLE STUDY (check other blog Sundays)

4) START A BOOK CLUB

5) SING KARAOKE

6) GO TO RANDOM CONCERTS ONCE IN AWHILE

7) TAKE A SMALL TRIP

8) BE A CAMP COUNSELOR

9) GO OUT AND MEET NEW PEOPLE

10) GO OUT TO A NICE DINNER BY MYSELF

11) EAT AT DINERS, DRIVE INNS, AND DIVES

12) DYE MY HAIR

13) WRITE MORE LETTERS

14) CRASH A WEDDING

15) GET A TATTOO

16) BREAKFAST AT TIFFANYS

17) SEE A SUNRISE WITH SOMEONE SPECIAL

18) SEW MORE

There it is ! I hope that I can continue to add to this list. I hope that I can let 2011 work inside of my soul and bring me to 2012 without too much trouble, but enough to help me learn.

So here is to that, to the beauty in being a woman, letting of of stupid little boys, finding new men that deserve me, to the 3000+ songs on my ipod that is climbing, to good food, taking a leap of faith and to 2011!

Cheers!