Don't Forget

I love listening to music in time of deep stress and sadness. There is nothing like a good song to vent to or even to make you feel better. This week my ears have been flooded with the beloved sounds of Death Cab, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato and Miley. So many amazing songs have made it into my head and have captured my heart. Songs by real broken hearted people that have been broken like me.

This week has been Taylor Swift week for me. It seems when I want to yell and scream to the world her songs are the best way to get my message across. From Monday’s angry tones of You’re Not Sorry I was able to free myself of how I really felt inside. How I felt extremely sad and didn’t really think certain people were sorry; they just felt sorry. Like pity. The music changed on Tuesday to the sadness of White Horse. The whole idea of believing in someone so much and having him let you down. To realize that sometimes your dreams are too much for someone and that you can’t be the dreamer you were before. Wednesday began the idea that Forever and Always doesn’t exactly mean that to close-minded and fearful boys. Thursday happened as feelings of why people act the way they do. Tell Me Why? It was the question that has been on my mind all week. Despite all those feelings it was finally Friday and the time to remember all that I had learned from the week of solitude and peace. The week ended with That’s the Way I Loved You. Giving me the meaning of how the most stressful person can make you insane. You act so insane because you love them. That maybe the most important person in your life can apologize from the bottom of their heart and be the person you need them to be.

However throught the rainbow of Taylor songs and feelings there is a song that never left my mind. It is called Don’t Forget and it is By Demi Lovato.

Did you forget

That I was even alive

Did you forget

Everything we ever had

Did you forget

Did you forget

About me

Did you regret

Ever standing by my side

Did you forget

What we were feeling inside

Now I'm left to forget

About us

But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

So now I guess

This is where we have to stand

Did you regret

Ever holding my hand

Never again

Please don't forget

Don't forget

We had it all

We were just about to fall

Even more in love

Than we were beforeI won't forget

I won't forget

About us

But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

At allAnd at last

All the pictures have been burned

And all the pastIs just a lesson that we've learned

I won't forgetI won't forget us

But somewhere we went wrong

Our love is like a song

But you won't sing along

You've forgotten

About us

The song has been stuck in my mind all week. It has consumed me and been a part of my thought process. But beside the girls and their heartfelt lyrics the only thing that has been able to let me sleep is the beautiful sounds of Death Cab for Cutie. It has a calming effect on me when I need a peaceful mind. This music has helped me think about a few things. It has helped me come up with questions I need answered. From the deepest parts of my heart I need to honestly ask them.

What is it like not to have someone "cling" to you?
How does it feel to have someone erased from your life so suddenly no matter how brief?
What is it like to be so close yet so far away, to have constant reminders around you?
Is being right or not being considered a pushover really worth feeling alone?

I understand that these are some things I need to think about myself and I hope that someone else has their answers for me soon as well. I am learning a lot this week. I am learning that I am a survivor. That life is what you make it and it doesn’t stop, but it moves along in time. I have learned that love is a really complex emotion. I think I always knew, but had never had such a test before. Emotions that are this strong are filled with many parts. Emotions like love have many pieces that scare us into thinking it is ok to hold back or to become comfortable. They allow us to try and give us hope that there are people out there that are willing to make us feel needed, wanted, and special. Sometimes when we feel that those pieces are not being met we want to throw away the whole emotion for its evil cousin anger. You begin to say things that are not exactly helpful and things that make you lose your mind. I need to talk to someone that knows my heart almost as well as his own. I miss him and if he is willing to call, I might finally be willing to pick up the phone.