Where I Stood

Hey Blogger Friends! I am just sitting in the computer lab at my school trying to procrastinate typing my journals just a little longer. I began to ponder and feel like I wanted to write. I am also realizing that life is too short to be mad at people. A friend of mine is really sick, so sick that she is in the hospital. She doesn’t need pity right now, but my unfailing faith. I have faith that she will come out of her surgery and be ok once again.

I am listening to this amazing song. The type of song I knew was going to come in January. It is a song by Missy Higgins an artist from Australia and it really put some things into perspective for me.

'Cos I don’t know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should.
'Cos I will love you more than she could.
She who dares to stand where I stood.



It made me think and maybe understand a little about my life. There are a few things on my mind and spring tends to be that time that makes me ponder these things. I have graduated almost a year ago. I remember the wonder and excitement of last year. I can’t believe how fast the past year has gone. How the last two years have gone. I have learned so much about life, love, and who I am these past two years. I went through so much and I have grown up more than I think I ever thought I would. I thank many people for that; one person who knows who he is. I am sure you have already read my journey, but I would like to share a small timeline for you, a little story.

It starts with a seventeen year old girl, a junior. One of those typical girls nervous about her senior year and who loved laughing with her friends at lunch. She was also a naive girl. The girl took a chance, had a bad summer because of it only to come out growing into an adult. She turned into an eighteen year old senior. She became a new girl ready for a fresh start that wouldn’t seem to come. She wanted to go to “Boston”, but couldn’t find her way out. The nervousness of college was gone and the fun of senior year in front of her. A graduation goal in her mind, she was the girl that wasn’t going to lose focus. She had a crappy senior year and she graduated. She met a new boy. This boy was different, she hadn’t seen this boy a million times at her school, and he didn’t act like the boys she usually fell for. He was nothing like any of the boys she had seen before, the boy seemed intriguing and yet so out of her reach. Another summer and the boy surprised her by stealing her heart. Now the girl doesn’t know who she is without him, even though she knows she should. She couldn’t stand if anyone else had him instead of her, even though she understands that maybe one day she might have to. This girl grew into a nineteen year old in love. Her heart full and her head held up high. She doesn’t care anymore about the mistakes he made. She understands that the good far outweighs the bad. She loves him for his mistakes, because they are teaching her how to grow up. She is learning how to accept the bad in people and still love them. She realizes that there are sluts and potheads in this life. That you will look at these types of people and wonder what to do. A person will meet a million people who will change the direction of their life. Which directions you go depend on the choices you make. She wants to make it in this world and so she is making the choices that send her in the right direction. She only hopes the boy will follow her down this path. She knows that it is worth it. It is all a part of god’s plan for the girl and she is ready for it. She wants the mixed up crazy, chaotic, planned out, settled, traveling life.